Thursday, February 11, 2010

Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary from If Johnna had a Blog

Happened on this blog and felt this lady had been visiting my house. We have 6 dogs

Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary:

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A truck  ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – food! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow– but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released — and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe…for now…

 So this This is  my life with Animals...
My husbands dogs- Cheech and Chong
My daughters dogs (  she moved out dogs moved home)- Cledus, Eady and Ally
My son dog (he moved out dog moved home)- Bogey
My other sons cat- Squirt and Bird Kenny

Tuesday was my day off and  one of the dogs ( Probably Ally) pulled a garbage bags out of the can and  over the fence. Then  it became a full canine  affair to string the contents of the day over the entire yard. Leaving evidence for me in every concievable areas. By 8:30 am ...  Mission accomplished chew everything in to tiny little jiblets.They were all so proud that they each had their own  yogurt cups and water bottles for toys. Only the best  TOYS for our animals. They actually think water bottles are the ultimate toy!!

The cat as usual over ate and rewarded me by reminding ME to tell his father that he was feeding him too much.

And last but certainly not least.

I let the bird out of his cage to fly around a little, so when I opened the door he flew on to the top of the exterior door. I called my son to get him down for me.

I look up to see him reaching for him with a yard stick as he flys off in to the pine trees at 5:30 pm on a 35degree night. We look for him off and on Super Bowl night..... knowing fully well that he is not coming home until he ( Kenny the Conure)  is good and ready.

Kenny  has a grand time flying around and return home around 4 pm the next day.

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